butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
