I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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