totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
