Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
