Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
