I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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