been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize