I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
