its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
