Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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