I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
