Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
