Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I didn't notice because vodka
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
