but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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