So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
