I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
