READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i need some magic done to my vagina
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize
