Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
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Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
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You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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