Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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