chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
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Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
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Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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