So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
