do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
