I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
