i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
