yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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