Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
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Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
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Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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