End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
