Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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