this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
