True but thats because hes a fetus.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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