shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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