This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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