Where is the hickey?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
