Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
