His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
