Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
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At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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