I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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