You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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