Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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