the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
