Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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