Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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