Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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