mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize