Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
