sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
