so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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