Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
