she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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