11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Everyone says I win the strip club
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
