The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
