So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
