I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
