You're so nebulous sometimes
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
