if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Michael Bay diarrhea
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Randomize
