She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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