I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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