OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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