Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
