yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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