and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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