O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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