I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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