i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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