This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
