Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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