so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
There r osticjed everywhere
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
