is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
